Don't be a butt end

7.9 out of 10 people who come to Vail and book a fly fishing trip have absolutely no clue what their guide is talking about. I'm going to take a few and do some translating for significant portions of our earths population so maybe they are more prepared for a day with a fly fishing guide. I'm going to start with hockey players since they seem to be a demographic I get along with nicely or "they are the type of fellas I would hose a rink for after the lights are down,don't ya know"

Fellas: Clients
Lads: Other Guides
Barn: Fly shop
Plug: Playing an over flow guide when all the top end lads have a shift

Deke: A stopped boat where everybody is pretending to do something other than fish the hole they are parked next to.
Yap: Pie Hole, big mouth. Guide who is heard at great distances
Where momma hides the cookies; Under the seat of any drifty.

Bender: A lousy guide who still gets trips
Chirp: Guide or peep who talks to much about himself
Cherry Picker: Guide who hangs around management or shop dogs trying to score trips
Grinder: Doesn't matter where, when or how, this group of muckers put in the work and get it done.
Odd man Rush: 3-1 wade trip with observers booked last second.

Apple/ Johnny Appleseed: Apple in hockey is an assist, Johnny Appleseed is a dude who racks up many helpers. Old guide with lots of return clients. A good oarsman who puts his team on many fish.

Flop:Wade guide who wears his chestys folded down or flopped around the waist.
Laser: A fly put in a difficult spot with great skill
Pylon: Slow boat
Sweet Hands: Good caster

One of my favorite guide days of all-time was with one Ironman of all World Hockey, Sergei Zubov. I spent part of the day talking with a Russian Accent while he tried to talk like a Texan, funny how we all ways understood what each of us were saying.
I'm going to try and make sure everyone understands their fishing guide this year so next week I am either going to translate for MILF's, Hipsters or Goths, I guess.


  1. Having survived years surf and snow sport slang, I thought I'd heard the best (and really bad) slang. Fellas and Lads sounds like golf course slang, not for outdoors folks. But if they're not embarrassed saying it, then I won't be embarrassed for them.