2011 Product Reviews

Every morning I pack MY things up, rig MY rods, hook MY boat up to MY truck and pump gas on MY rubber debit card. This is the way it is in the fly fishing guide business, it's going to cost you $10 to make $8, thats life (still want to be a guide?). I've always said my 401K sucks but my doctor loves me......no stress, just broke and happy.

I had the pleasure of shooting a fishing show with Chad LaChance for  Fishful Thinker TV last March. During our day of completely fucking up the Roaring Fork we were able to talk about gear and how the industry takes care of guides......or doesnt. Baits come to his house on pallets and rods are delivered by the dozens, FREE. I have no animosity towards Chad, even if he does drive a sweet late model billboard for a guide vehicle.He's cool as they come and I'd fish with him anywhere...just jealous. Chads a bass fisherman, I'm a "fly guy". Apparently in the fishing business thats like comparing Nascar to professional Lacrosse, somebodys going broke for the love of it.

I've been endorsed before, by the Orvis company. They took great care of me and they still offer incredible deals to their endorsed guides, lodges and outfitters....I'm just not one of them anymore. So I am forced to pro form and beg from reps that supply the goods our shop sells. This year I went GREEN, as in the rod line has gone Sage and Winston. Someone swings a BIIIx for the day and theoretically they stop back and buy that beautiful weapon from the shop the next day and the shop gives you a little cut.......in theory. It took an act of god to get a free hat from Winston and the sticker Sage gave me has long since fallen off my boat. Take a note from Nascar boys and at least make your stickers hold up to the weather. I guess I dont care who I'm pissing off here. If I dont get my "deals" anymore I'll just do what most of America does now adays......Ebay baby.

In a past life I was working construction and one day a rep from a big tool company shows up with goodies. When it was all said and done my boss handed us all the goodness and explained they are more valuable in the hands of those who use them everyday. Do you really think Lowes remodels Rick Hendricks (team owner) house for free but charges Jimmy Johnson 40%? Dont think so. So why do Fly Fishing reps hand shop owners free stuff when most of the time they are on the water 60% less than their guides? I know, I know....there is only 4 shops in the world making any dough and nobodys livin in a mansion unless your a trust funder (Panic). But what good is that swag in the hands of somebody who fishes for fun more than with clients?

I dont really want to loose my 51.021% off status or piss guys off I actually like despite the fact they wouldnt buy me a coffee. So I feel compelled to give a few product reviews before I get fired. Winston rocks. Love the new BIIIx but who wouldnt.The new graphite series (GVX) is super cool and affordable. The Sage VXP is not the old XP but I like it lots for a nymph stick. Guarantee your products for life like Patagonia and you go to the top of the list. My waders, jacket and boots might be full of holes but at least I can send them back. Umpqua makes great bugs, Solitude gets them to me quicker. Tippet is tippet and Rio is my stuff, the versa leader has changed the way I streamer fish (John Knight will tell you they dont work with Dries though). The purple thingambobber is revolutionary and even Stevie Wonder can see it in low light. Floating fly line still sinks but that Sharkskin from SA does what they say and makes a cool noise.

There ya go, hopefully my next blog doesnt look like a resume.

Arts and Crafts

The Big Zim has a crush on this little piece of work I've  been calling "Scoots". Floated the lower Eagle with Jmac and JK yesterday and threw this in the middle seat of the parade (3 streamers). I've been tying it in Olive and Fox Variant in size 8 incorporating a few of the tricks we use for "Sams Sock". All that bunny can lead to a few tail strikes but by finding a hook you can bend and opening the gap has increased hook ups ( thank you Hutch).

Theres a few hooks on the market that you can bend with out breaking, these size 4 streamer hooks are from Orvis. I have tied the fly on straight hooks and bent them later but I find it easier to bend a few before hand and go from there.

Back to painting split shot again, I guess it's this crisp fall weather that seems to bring out the arts and craft side of me. Has your state outlawed pegged eggs like Montana? You'll be surprised how many fish eat yellow tin. Check out http://bobbertalk.blogspot.com/2010/11/eggs-over-hard-made-easy.html for more about it.

Fishing with Bin Laden

My first impression of "Ronnie" was a positive one, even if he was 15 minutes late appearing from his luxury condo. As he stumbled by the line of high end valley vehicles towards my very used 4 runner, I noticed he was hauling some serious gear. Packing his small fly shop into my boat and truck made me feel all fuzzy inside. I caught myself thinking things could be good , even if his new wading boots were still in the box and it looked like his waders were fresh from the dry cleaners.

I tried, really I did. Lefty couldnt have helped this guy in a week, honestly my 4 year old can move graphite better. Terrible is not a powerful enough adjective for Ronnies grasp of our sport or his ability to learn. All the finest equipment our industry offers was useless.  Until one of these Rod manufacturers produce a remote control for their rods, I think people like Ronnie should be banned from possessing a nice one. 

So 3 hours into my 5 hour trip I realized nothing I said or did was going to help; I began to think. Maybe it wasnt Ronnies fault. What if fly rods could be possessed? A good soul might spend eternity as a rod in the hand of a true master, destined to enjoy countless days beautifully catching fish while traveling the world. Ronnies Z-Axis was definitely not the soul of Lee Wulff or Mel Kreiger, more like Osama Bin Laden. I saw enough to know there was nothing I could do, this rod was never going to enjoy another day of its existence as long as Ronnie held it. So rest assured America it's true, Osama is dead and his soul will be tortured forever. 

Definition of the Month:

Dance: the tug, wiggle or pull that a fish produces on the tip of a properly moved rod; something Ronnie may never experience; something we never watch on TV around my hut.

It's here!!

Sure it's a few months late, but its here to jam in stockings everywhere. 2 hours of pure fish porn from RA and JMac at Beattie Outdoor Productions. Including 3 featured movies, 12 shorts and some great highlights of a couple of years fishing with cameras....hell they even found a few minutes for my ugly mug. Get it today!!

beattieoutdoorproductions.com

laterallinemedia.com



Thinking still

The water here sucks right now to put it politely as I care to. Off the ranch and back on staff again after a few weeks away and I'm creeping around the upper reaches of a few tribs with every other guide in our valley. With the right explanation, description and gear a crikin trip can satisfy any ones wants and wishes here in the Rockies. Hell the people I had today thought they were going to our private water. Pretty sure the Minturn Anglers whirly bird is still in the shop and that's the only way any ones guiding that place right now. Either way these people never gave a second thought to the private water after they saw the place. It's a necessary time to be in the headwaters but an enjoyable time never the less. For someone who spends so much time on a boat seat in the bottom of the valley, it's especially nice to enjoy the view.

At basically the same elevation are some incredible lakes just recently becoming open water again. I'd like to give some credit to my little boat captain for my interest in stillwaters. It's been a safe, fun place to float with an infant and I've learned a few things without a book or a mentor. Ms Whitey would have killed me if i put him on moving water before this summer any how. It's been fun already messing with the "no drag zone". Even though nothings lit up just yet, it's been fun being there; no ones been skunked if that's what your thinking.. I got to float a very special Loch on Saturday and Sunday with J Knight; Loch Nottingham, downtown Avon. We fished a bit and tested his drogue system on Saturday and he hosted a Loch style tourny as a prelim to his Americas Cup this September on Sunday. Check out theamericacup.com for more info, Its a cool event with international players, national teams, youth teams and adaptive teams. This year will have 2 Loch beats along with the usual incredible river venues so we have been thinking still alittle more lately. I'm really not sure why some people look down their nose when it comes to puddle fishing or why I don't have clients interested. Sure I get it, your in the Colorado mountains so you want a river or maybe a crik. What could be wrong with a clear water situation with hungry fish this time of year. No drag, minimal current, maybe some wind......buy a drogue. When your bored of watching your dry dropper rig sit equally as bored, just strip it over slowly, that's how they are going to eat it anyways. Loch on!

Guide house meal of the week: Stuffed Poblano Peppers, no lie. Credit to Thompson, I'm still grilling frozen chicken breasts from a bag.

Room for rent by the way. Before anyone farted, the happy couple moved out. 24 hours is going to be hard number to beat.

Definition of the week: Crikin: Fishing a teeny rod on a two to four step body of moving water for little Timmy.

Mexican Pasta

It's been a busy few months, I apologize Uncle Jerry.

Made the move from Eagle to Minturn to over see guide house summer 11. I like to call it 3 1/2 men, a lady and 3 dogs. This could be a TV show let alone a blog. The official over and under before i get the talk from Ms Whitey is 5 weeks when I am sure Sam will have learned a few new words.I am sure there will be more to this story with Capt Craig, Scott, Lauren, Sam, Me and 3 dogs, but dinner the other night got me to thinking. Rather than document all the craziness i decided to chronicle the journey through the recipes that grace our big log kitchen table and who might be there. Scott the Scott (as in Scottish), prepared me the tastiest Italian red sauce, with Mexican chorizo from a hot wok. It was delicious even though it broke every law of Italian cooking. I know a few little ladies back east that would castrate him for putting the garlic into anything first. Regardless, delicious even if he does need to see a witch doctor. The boy allegedly likes to cook so there may be more coming from the big fella.

I am currently on a world class streak as far as the fishing goes.....yes even during run off. I have made 25 casts in the last 6 weeks and hooked a fish on every one. I've lost 3 I'll be honest. Every river I know and love looks like a chocolate shake, a very fast and angry chocolate shake. I have been  very fortunate to have been working at the Round up River Ranch out on the Colorado the last 6 weeks or so. Swinging a hammer has felt nice and the location isnt bad. I have watched the Big Mud swallow up our newly constructed Archery Range and flirt with 18,000 cfs. The coolest projects have been the 2 docks we have built for the kids to enjoy some boating and fishing. Brand new state of the art trout and boating lake complete with a brand new batch of Kamloops. That should explain my streak....I'm not that good. All dry flies, just sayin.

Guiding seems along way off with as much water/ snow as we have. The color isnt horrible but one false step and you are in Glenwood. Floated Sylvan the other day, I guess that should count against my cast count now that I think of it. Everyone is trying to gear up for some stillwater stuff which I think is going to be very cool. I'll just sit and think about my Aunt Patience, she's gonna see that i'm floating the Eagle in early September. I can hold my breath a little longer for that.

Had a great visit to camp Kitty in the beginning of the month. My 10 year old dog has just moved for the 10th time. My 3 year old best friend stopped pissing and shitting himself. My vise is set up and actually running, thinking big, ugly and rubber legged. It's coming this spring man....Jmacs Girdle. Hockey playoffs, Ncaa Lax tourny all nice run off events. Had a VERY nice last minute trip to Montana and the Bighorn.....enough said.There is a coat of arms holding our rods on the porch of a quiet little peaceful guide house in Minturn. Good night John Boy, pass the chorizo Scott.

Definition of the week : Free fish: A Zimmism, a narrow fast moving channel of goodness where the angler casts where he or she feels best.

Fish don't spawn after 3pm

As I sit here watching Thomas the Train with my spawn I am reminded how complicated this procreation process can be. I am so thankful for him and that no one came by daily and jumped up and down on Ms Whiteys belly while he was still in there. While I'm pretty sure fish don't have a connection to their offspring like we do, they seem to work awful hard to keep their genetics going. So why is it that every spring I see anglers standing in the middle of spawning redds fishing to Rainbows busy doing things other than eating? Is it really any different than handing your kids mother to be a crack pipe or putting dirt on her breakfast cereal?

On a spring float down the Eagle last year we approached a section of river with a well known spawning area and sure enough there was a dude trying to force feed his junk to fish in the nursery. I'm not one to throw rocks or play policeman but I think I had some hops in me and couldn't resist saying something. Joe and I still laugh about the response we got. After we explained that "only douche bags fish to spawners", ol Doc Kavorkian looked down at his watch and explained that they were done for the day. I learn something everyday and I still look for him this time of year after 3:15.

I know, sometimes it's hard to find fish to throw to, especially here on the Eagle. A spot of clean gravel the size of a VW makes it a whole lot easier for someone who didn't read chapter 2; Reading water. If you need to sight fish go to a tailwater, but they spawn there also. It's one thing to have some out of towner standing in a bowl of caviar it's another thing all together to see a local or some new guide doing it. If you care, you need to say something in an effort to educate certain people, some guys just don't know any better.



The Brown trout in the fall have a huge advantage when they have their yearly nooky, the event is not followed by run off. These poor Rainbows which we all cherish here go about the rigorous and exhausting act of courtship and fertilization only to have a hurricane of water and silt blow through their kids bed room as soon as they are done. Why make the process any harder? If you really need to catch a fish that bad all you have to do is slide 40 feet down stream of the redd and you'll find all the eager fish you will ever want. But if you are on your way home from the dispensary after picking up your pregnant wife's "medicine" and you cant resist, just make sure it's after 3:15.