My favorite guide on mother earth is a beautiful old man by the name of Sam Dawson and one of these days I will find the right words to tell you about him in full. He is the toughest SOB I have ever spent the day with. I think of him and getting back in that boat on Permit Alley every single day even though I know the beat down is coming.
I hire fishing guides not babysitters.
The first time Sammy shut the engine down and opened his mouth is something I think about every morning I meet up with clients.
"You Pro's?" he asked the G and I, but it sounded more like "You Dicks?" to us.
We could have easily said yes, after all, we are paid to play with fly rods. We said No because we have heard so many of you tell us how good you are and how much you fish only to watch you proceed to suck. Neither of us were interested in being that guy so we strapped on our bullet proof vests, opened our ears and shut down the ego. We humbly tried our best to listen and ended up learning about so much more than catching Permit. We learned how to let the guide do his job in his own style, and frankly, Sammy's style is a lot like his philosophy on surviving women and catching fish; "You got to harden your heart and soften your dick".
If you read this crap on a regular basis you know I don't write a lot of "How to Stuff". I have always figured there were guys that have more experience than I do taking care of that. But after a few days of guiding knuckleheads, and since that conversation with say it like it is Sam, I realize the demographic in our sport that needs the most help is not the beginners. It's the ever growing number of you PROS with hard dicks and soft hearts.
In honor of Sammy Dawson I give you my JULY PRO TIP.
For the Four Millionth time..........If the boat is moving and you are lucky enough to be in the front please cast to the future, not to what's "past" you by. There is a great benefit to occupying the front of a trout craft. Simply put, if your flies get to the fish before they see the boat or your buddy, you have a better chance of jumping unsuspecting fish. Most of you pros spend way to much time trying to hit the bank to make your dick hard instead of looking and casting on an angle that lets you anticipate. Every time you aim across from yourself or back on an upstream angle from a moving boat, you lose the advantage and start to crowd the angler in the back of the boat. Just because you have the ability to cast to the bank doesn't mean that's where the guide wants you. I mean if you were wade fishing over there on the bank you would be trying to throw the flies where my boat is, right? Find a good drift on a good angle and stop trying to impress me when you are actually boring me.
Check back next month when my Pro Tip will be about not beating your guide to the shop.
Aunt Sallie has been hot!